What to Say and Not to Say

Know a Victim of Sexual Assault? What to Say and Not to Say - exerpted from From Rid of My Disgrace by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb.

Don’t say:

• I know how you feel.
• I understand.
• You’re lucky that ___________.
• It’ll take some time, but you’ll get over it.
• Tell me more details about what happened.
• I can imagine how you feel.
• Don’t worry, it’s going to be all right.
• Try to be strong.
• Out of tragedies, good things happen.
• Time heals all wounds.
• It was God’s will.
• You need to forgive and move on.
• Calm down and try to relax.
• You should get on with your life.

Do Say:

• I believe you.
• Thank you for telling me.
• How can I help?
• I’m glad you’re talking with me.
• I’m glad you’re safe now.
• It wasn’t your fault.
• Your reaction is not an uncommon response.
• It’s understandable you feel that way.
• You’re not going crazy; these are normal reactions.
• Things may not ever be the same, but they can get better.
• It’s OK to cry.
• I can’t imagine how terrible your experience must have been.
• I’m sorry this happened to you.