Small Moments

From Tim Challies

Eulogy Virtues

Two Sets of Virtues by Darryl Dash

"It occurred to me that there were two sets of virtues, the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues. The résumé virtues are the skills you bring to the marketplace. The eulogy virtues are the ones that are talked about at your funeral — whether you were kind, brave, honest or faithful. Were you capable of deep love?" (David Brooks)

I’ll admit that I’m attracted to the résumé virtues. Who wouldn’t want to be known as a gifted communicator, a beloved pastor, a clear writer, and a successful church planter?

Then there are the eulogy virtues that will never make it onto a résumé. In fact, they may make my résumé less impressive: man of prayer, husband and father who made time for wife and kids, servant who didn’t chase limelight, good friend, man who cared.

A friend of mine was asked by a search committee what he desired if he came to their church. To his credit, he responded with a list that reflected mostly eulogy virtues. It would be great for the church to grow, but what he wanted most, he said, was to love the Lord more, to love his wife more, and so on. It wasn't the answer they expected.

The older I get, the more I recognize my desire for the résumé virtues, and the less I trust this desire. In the end, it’s the eulogy virtues that I really need. I’m praying instead for a character God can use rather than accomplishments others can admire.

Character Over Charisma

Rick Warren on "Why Character Trumps Charisma:"

All leadership is built on two things—character and competence. Those are the twin values of leadership. Charisma is optional.

Some of the most charismatic people of the 20th century were also the worst. Hitler, Mao, and Marx and Mussolini were all charismatic. Charisma has absolutely nothing to do with leadership. If you possess it, it's merely a bonus and, if you allow it, it can actually get you into a lot of trouble. Real leadership is built on character and competence.

The Bible says in 1 Timothy 3:8-10 (GN), "Church leaders must be of good character and sincere. They should be tested first and then if they pass the test they should serve."One of the realities that has burdened me is the number of young leaders I see starting or moving into established churches who have tremendous talent and charisma, but who often lack the grounding of character. So in the last few years, I've been mentoring and teaching young leaders and addressing the need to put down roots and grow deep in the soil of God's Word and in the history of the church.

And for 30-plus years now, we've been addressing the issue of competence by repeatedly teaching pastors and church leaders how to plant and lead healthy churches that have a great commitment to the Great Commission and the Great Commandment.

You really need both character and skills to be a good leader. If you have character without competence what you have is sincere ineffectiveness. But far worse is when you have competence without character. If you have competence without character you become a menace—a menace to a church, a menace to a small group, and a menace to society.

To gain greater competence, read. Then read some more. I often tell Pastors that 25 percent of their reading should be among contemporary authors. Another 25 percent should be among authors from the immediate past generation of great leaders who are now in heaven—men like D. Martin Lloyd-Jones, Adrian Rogers, and W. A. Criswell. Another 25 percent should be among authors from the Reformation period up until the modern missionary age—from Luther, Calvin, and Wesley up to D. L. Moody's age. And a final 25 percent should be from the early church fathers up to the Reformation—from Athanasius who penned the Nicene Creed to Balthasar Hubmaier, the great Anabaptist contemporary of Zwingli.

The Fertilizer of Failure

"Going all in for God isn't something you do once. In fact, you'll probably have a few failures before you get it right. But someday you'll celebrate the failure as much as the success. Failure is the fertilizer that grows character. And character sustains success so it doesn't backfire. Anyone without nay failure is like a plant without any roots or a building without any foundation. Failure is the substructure that supports the superstructure of success."

-Mark Batterson, All In: You Are One Decision Away From A Totally Different Life, pages 126-127

Today is the Day Your Procrastinated About Yesterday

Some good stuff from my old college buddy, Dennis Ritchie:

Today is the day I put off yesterday.

There are hard things to do. There are people to love. There are responsibilities that come with that.

If I’m going to pursue my dreams, now is the time, in the middle of all the other things pressing in. That’s always been the way. Today is no different.

If there were endless time and money and ability we would never have to choose. We would never have to decide what’s really important to us. We would never have to expose who we are by choosing.

We wouldn’t need character or discipline. We wouldn’t need courage. We could just take things as they come knowing we could always get back to important things later.

The urgent would always take priority over the important, which we could always delay. It would be dreadful.

So today I’m forced to choose, to eliminate the unimportant, to be ruthless in my priorities, to commit before God and man. That’s why God invented time. That’s why we have an expiration date.

Otherwise we would postpone ourselves.

In the choices I make today I will reveal to all who I am. May I choose wisely, act courageously and be worth all of the love that’s been invested in me.

Amen.

Ahem, not that you are "old," Dennis - It's just been a long time since we were in college. I enjoy his blog, The Art of Standing, and recommend it to you to enjoy also.

Self Revelation From Crises

From Michael Kelley at Forward Progress

You see it all the time. You feel it yourself. Life is rocking along at a steady clip, and then… BAM! Something happens. Something dramatic. Drastic. Paradigm shifting. Something that, though you don’t yet know the full fallout, you know when it happens that this event will be a dividing point in your life.

There was life before the diagnosis…

Before the job loss…

Before the hard conversation…

Before the revelation…

… and life after. And nothing will be the same.

Our lives are marked by these moments of crisis. And in that moment of crisis, when the earth is emotionally shifting under your feet, “stuff” starts to come out. You get angry. Or frustrated. Or worried. Or that long dormant sin starts to become a temptation again. The temptation, as we look at the remnants of life after that dividing point, the shards of broken relationships or the broken down finances or the busted up sense of self, is to look to that pink slip or call from the doctor’s office or difficult conversation as the point of causality. It’s the thought that this unexpected occurrence, whatever it is, caused these other things to come up.

But it didn’t.

Crisis doesn’t create; it only reveals what’s been there all along......

Read it all at the link - It's worth the time. 

Don't Be Stupid

J. Lee Grady has a great column up at Charisma entitled 10 Stupid Things Ministers Should Never Do.

If you aspire to ministry, don’t be stupid. Decide now to avoid these obvious pitfalls.
I had the privilege of sharing a pulpit with Dr. Mary Ann Brown two times. She was bold, prophetic and painfully blunt. People who hate women preachers hated her even more because of her no-nonsense sermons—always delivered in her Texas twang. She would get her audience laughing and then skewer them with a hot blade of truth.

When this spiritual giant died last month at age 73, I remembered the last words she said to me when we were together at a conference in Chicago in 2011. After lamenting the fact that so many ministers in the United States were failing, Mary Ann locked eyes with me and said with stern, motherly authority: “Lee, please don’t ever get stupid.”

I knew exactly what she meant—and I’ve pondered her words often, especially since her death. I don’t want to be stupid; I want to finish well. So how can we avoid spiritual stupidity? We can start by avoiding these 10 mistakes that have become common in our movement during the past decade. If you are a minister, or if you aspire to be one, please decide now that you will never copy these behaviors....

Read it all at the link...... and don't be stupid!

Tebow Shows Class

Football season may be over, but off the field Tim Tebow continues to demonstrate the meanings of the terms character, grace and compassion.  Check this out:


Tim Tebow ignores Brady Quinn’s slights while serving as dream date for 9-year-old.
     
 

Holiness and Happiness in Marriage

From Tim Keller's new book mentioned in the previous post:

"A parishioner heard me preach on Ephesians 5, where Paul says that the purpose of marriage is to “sanctify” us. She said, “I thought the whole point of marriage was to be happy! You make it sound like a lot of work.” She was right—marriage is a lot of work—but she was wrong to pit that against happiness, and here is why. Paul is saying that one of the main purposes of marriage is to make us “holy . . . without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish” (verses 26–27). What does that mean? It means to have Jesus’s character reproduced in us, outlined as the “fruit of the Spirit”—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithful integrity, gentle humility, and self-control—in Galatians 5:22–25.

When Jesus’s love, wisdom, and greatness are formed in us, each with our own unique gifts and callings, we become our “true selves,” the persons we were created to be. Every page in the Bible cries that the journey to this horizon cannot be accomplished alone. We must face it and share it with brothers and sisters, friends of our heart. And the very best human friendship possible for that adventure is with the lover-friend who is your spouse.

Is all this a lot of work?

Indeed it is—but it is the work we were built to do. Does this mean “marriage is not about being happy; it’s about being holy”? Yes and no. As we have seen, that is too stark a contrast. If you understand what holiness is, you come to see that real happiness is on the far side of holiness, not on the near side. Holiness gives us new desires and brings old desires into line with one another.

So if we want to be happy in marriage, we will accept that marriage is designed to make us holy."

- Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage, pages 132-133

Hat Tip: Take Your Vitamin Z

I Still Refuse to Choose!

Below are some words of mine from an old post from 2008.- Can We Avoid a Charismatic Civil War? I noticed someone had viewed it yesterday, and went back to look myself.  You know, I.still believe this - and think it is worth repeating.

Some choices should not be made.  Sometimes, when asked (or tempted) to choose between two alternatives, the proper thing to do is to say yes to both!

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As I have said earlier, some choices should not be made.

• Some choose good theology and doctrine, some choose personal experience; I refuse to choose.
• Some choose the Spirit, some choose truth; I refuse to choose.
• Some choose individual spirituality, some choose community; I refuse to choose.
• Some choose knowledge about God, some choose knowledge of God; I refuse to choose.
• Some choose orthodoxy, some choose orthopraxy; I refuse to choose.
• Some choose commitment to a church family, some choose openness to all believers; I refuse to choose.
• Some choose ministry models open to all believers, some choose gifted and trained leadership; I refuse to choose.
• Some choose catholicity, some choose evangelicalism; I refuse to choose.
• Some choose charismatic gifts, some choose fruit in changed character; I refuse to choose.
• Some choose loving God, some choose obeying God; I refuse to choose.
• Some choose ministry within the church, some choose ministry to the world outside; I refuse to choose.

I refuse to make choices where God did not intend me to choose. I refuse to say yes to one and no to the other, when God says yes to both. I refuse to separate things God put together. I refuse to divide things God wants held in tension. What God has put together, let not man put asunder!

Character Matters!

Which matters most for ministry success: Character or Gifting?  I like what Michael at CHARISMATICA had to say:

We have seen a lot of gifted major ministers failing and falling in the last couple of years within Pentecostal and Charismatic circles. I won’t bother to name any since I am sure anyone reading this article probably thought of a couple of them immediately.

‘Gifting’ is so emphasized and such a major part of the Charismatic and Pentecostal moves of God that it seems to almost over-ride character at times. Then the problems come.

We have seen just in recent years alone how certain major charismatic leaders and healers have been protected and their failures hidden from view by those in awe of their extraordinary gifting. Then comes the ‘train wreck’ and everyone who knew better comes out of the woodwork.

You would think that we would learn from the past but it doesn’t seem to work that way for some reason. For example, just after WWII there were a whole slew of major healing ministries that went from town to town in America and did some incredible miracles. They were gifted in a major way but there was no accountability and character was a major problem.

Nearly everyone of those incredible ministries ended up failing and/or teaching weird or false doctrines. It was a major setback for the American church and kept healing and spiritual gifts out of the mainstream for nearly 15 years.

In the same time frame God rose up Billy Graham, a man of extraordinary character. There were a dozen or so ministers from the same time period that were far more gifted than Billy but he excelled in character, was faithful, and God honored him and we all honor him today after a whole generation of incredibly fruitful ministry.

The point is –character matters.

We need both gifting and character for the American church to rise up and become the culture changing agent that it is called to be in bringing on a new era of revival and awakening.

So which matters most: character or gifting?  From both Scripture and history we'd have to loudly shout CHARACTER!  (But best of all, why not both)

Carving What Image

"Self-will and prayer are both ways of getting things done. At the center of self-will is me, carving a world in my image, but at the center of prayer is God, carving me in his Son's image."

         - Paul E. Miller in A Praying Life.

Hat Tip:  Self-Will and Prayer - Joshua Harris:

Showing What's Inside

I said "ouch" when I read this Jame Ryles post at rylisms: Your True Colors It is worth quoting in full, with thanks to James.


"You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.” (James 1:3, The Message).

During a pregame talk with the Colorado Buffaloes some years ago I asked the question, “What do you get when you squeeze a lemon?” Of course the standard answer fired back from coaches and players alike, “Lemon juice!”

But what nobody knew that morning was that I had filled the lemon with ketchup. When I squeezed it tight and the red liquid oozed over my hand, they were all taken back.

“You’re wrong,” I then said. “The actual answer is that you get whatever is inside it.”

At that point I had them right where I wanted them, and then asked, “So, what’s inside you? What are we going to see when pressure puts the squeeze on you?” The answer is the same to the lemon question; we will see whatever is in you.

The great C. S. Lewis said, “A sudden provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man. It shows what an ill-tempered man I am.” James tells us in his letter that “under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.” Maybe this is why the Lord provides so many wonderful opportunities for us to be squeezed.

The origin of the phrase “true colors” comes from naval parlance back in the days when pirates sailed the high seas. Vessels would always fly on their topmast the flag of their country of origin. But pirates were notorious for hoisting the flags of different nations so as to gain an advantage against unsuspecting vessels. However, under no circumstance would any honorable Captain ever fly false colors. Thus, the phrase “true colors” indicates authenticity in both motive and manner.

The Lord wants to make us truly authentic men and women, but to get us there He has to squeeze out the other stuff – and He will do so with unrelenting pressure until there is nothing left to ooze.

So, you been feeling squeezed lately?"

Pathetic Or Prophetic

John Paul Jackson, has published a great article at Charisma Magazine on "Taking the Pathetic Out of the Prophetic" This is a great article, and I commend it for your consideration.

...when I look at the broad spectrum of prophetic ministry today, I become concerned. I fear that a lot of us have gone off course, and it is going to take more than a shift in attitude to get us back.

It is going to take sweeping, all-inclusive prophetic reformation—reformation that begins within prophetic individuals, not the church. The way prophetic people view themselves must radically change first, and only then will the church change the way it views prophetic ministry.

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All of us have probably heard about prophetic individuals who are supposedly “essential” to a particular move of God, but when we make any man or woman the foundation for God’s actions, we are coming perilously close to turning the gift into an idol. This belief has resulted in an entire generation of young men and women who base their identity so heavily on their gifts that when they are questioned about their words or behavior, they act as if God Himself is being called on the carpet.

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Make no mistake about it: Our nation views anyone who is on Christian TV as an example of Christianity—as well they should! The problem is that some ministers who appear on television are not good examples because of their ungodly lifestyles. By supporting those who commit adultery, divorce their spouses and engage in sexual immorality, we promote these behaviors and encourage Christians as well as non-Christians to think they are OK.

(The picture above also comes from the Charisma article.)

Hat Tip: CHARISMATICA » “Taking the Pathetic Out of the Prophetic”

Old Man Eloquent

The Anchoress just posted a mini-biography of one of my favorite American presidents, John Quincy Adams. What a fascinating character!

JQA was the only president to have a political career after his presidency, Yes, Taft went on the be Chief Justice, but Adams went to Congress! He fought the battle against slavery in Congress for 17 years, earning the nickname "Old Man Eloquent." Adams would not like today's politics - he did not suffer fools gladly. Can you imagine someone like him being interviewed by Chris Matthews or Bill O'Reilly?!

Adams was a prime example of a man who put character and principles ahead of popularity. His father was the same kind of person.

We could use leaders like them now.

Ministry Monkey Business

J. Lee Grady has posted this follow up to his previous post on disciplining errant Christian leader. the new one is called No More Monkey Business in the Ministry. I think I agree with every word of it.

The Tragic Scandal of Greasy Grace

It has been all over the internet that Todd Bentley, leader of last year's Lakeland Renewal, has divorced his wife and married the ministry intern he had an affair with. J. Lee Grady at Charisma Magazine wrote what I consider to be important comments on this situation and the way it has been handled in an article entitled The Tragic Scandal of Greasy Grace. Here are some excerpts from his article.

...we charismatics still seem to have a habit of elevating gifting above character. It's almost as if the end justifies the means. (So what if a preacher ruins one marriage and makes a hasty decision to marry a younger woman—the important thing is that we get him back in the pulpit to heal the sick!) That is a perversion of biblical integrity. God can anoint any man or woman with the Holy Spirit's power; what He is looking for are vessels of honor that can carry that anointing with dignity, humility and purity....

...Many Christians today have rejected biblical discipline and adopted a sweet, spineless love that cannot correct. Our grace is greasy. No matter what an offending brother does, we stroke him and pet him and nurse his wounds while we ignore the people he wounded. No matter how heinous his sin, we offer comforting platitudes because, after all, who are we to judge?

...We have not mourned this travesty. We have not been shocked and appalled that such sin has been named among us. We act as if flippant divorce and remarriage are minor infractions—when in actuality they are such serious moral failures that they can bring disqualification.

If we truly love Todd Bentley, we will not clamor for his quick return to the pulpit. While we certainly want him to be fully restored to fellowship with God, we cannot rush the process of restoring a man to ministry. Leaders must live up to a higher standard. We must demand that those involved in Bentley's restoration not only love him but also love the church by protecting us from the kind of scandal we endured last year.

These are only excerpts so you should follow the link to read the whole thing. Both character and gifting are important qualifications for ministry, but if we do not learn that (a) character is the priority before ministry, and (b) Christian leaders should not be treated like celebrity rock stars, we will continue to see more travesties and tragedies like this.

Passion and Balance

Interesting post by Andrew Barry at The Sola Panel regarding The ethics of a balanced life
He writes about the tension between passion and balance, between fervor and temperance.

How, then, do we sort out the voices in our head that call for balance? I think we need to think clearly. Some of these voices we need to hear, and others we must reject. There is a place for balance—not in our character, but in our actions that spring from that character.

Here's how I think it works:

1. In our character (being), we should seek virtues, not balance.
2. In our actions (doing), our character may demand that we act in a balanced way.

We should be holy, loving, wise, compassionate people. But being those sorts of people may demand a balance in the way we live and act in different ways at different times. This, however, must not be used as a cop-out for unvirtuous character.

Thsi is just an excerpt. The rest of the article is also well worth reading,

A Demonstration of Character

From Thinking Out Loud comes this inspiring true story- A Sports Role Model You Should Know

J.P. Hayes may be the most admired rule-breaker in America.

“This is a great story for sports and honesty in sports,” said Mike Golic on ESPN Radio’s show Mike and Mike in the Morning.

Hayes, 43, a middle-of-the-road pro-golfer, realized that he had mistakenly used a non-regulation ball for just two strokes in a PGA Tour qualifying tournament last week in Texas. Since the ball was unapproved for competition, Hayes admitted his mistake — and was disqualified.

“I violated a rule and I had to take my medicine,” Hayes said. But Hayes didn’t really have to turn himself in. No one filmed it. No one else saw it and no one would ever have known about the two shots with a prototype golf ball.

“No one would have known, but I knew,” he said. “And I have some people looking down on me that would have known, so that was the decision I had to make.”

Character, they say, is what you do when no one is watching. While that’s a powerful mantra, it’s easier to say than to live by. And for a player who was working hard to earn a PGA Tour card, admitting his mistake put a full-time spot on the line.

Hayes’s decision to turn himself in is a discussion dominating the world of sports. In a world where NASCAR drivers say, “If you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying,” baseball players take illegal steroids to enhance their performance and coaches make illegal films of their opponents, Hayes could have kept quiet.

“The lessons kids are being taught today, when you talk about sports, is how to get away with things in general,” said Damon Hack, a senior writer for Sports Illustrated. “Often young players are taught it’s not cheating if you don’t get caught.”

Hayes also refuses to place blame on his caddy, who mistakenly gave him the prototype ball from his golf bag. He considers it a personal oversight.

…J.P. Hayes paid a price for turning himself in; he lost a chance to qualify for the 2009 PGA Pro-Tour. But even though he no longer can compete, he has no regrets.

“I am proud in that situation that I reacted how I should of,” he said.

This guy deserves attention and admiration. He should be held up as a role model for our kids and grand kids. Don't know if he is a Christian or not, but with that kind of attitude toward integrity I would not be surprised to hear that he is. Reminds me of Eric Liddell.

How to Apologize

I'm not a NASCAR fan (shocking for a Southern boy, I know) but I am a Joe Gibbs fan, which is why this story at The Point grabbed my attention. The former Redskins coach and his sons own and run a racing team, and apparently some of their employees were caught cheating on some NASCAR rules. Chuck Colson commented:

While the cheating is not surprising, the name of the team is: Joe Gibbs Racing. It is surprising because Gibbs is an outspoken Christian who has gone into prisons with me. I know Joe well and respect his character and integrity—they are unimpeachable.

That is why I was not surprised at what followed: While neither Joe nor his son J. D. had any clue as to what their employees were doing, they took "full responsibility" for their employees' actions.

Joe said that the incident "goes against everything we stand for as an organization." He added that "we will take full responsibility and accept any penalties NASCAR levies against us."

That's it: no evasion, no excuses, no spin.

That's the way to do it. No "if anyone was offended." No "mistakes were made." Character and integrity matter.

Good for Joe.