Both And

Why do we always want to break things into dichotomies: Two options only, and only one available. Sometimes we must simply choose YES, both and, rather than either or. For example, check out As A Christian I Favor National Security and Refugee Care by Scott Sauls

All partisan politics aside (truly), I am an evangelical Christian pastor who supports our President’s commitment to national security and who favors doing everything possible to help the world’s most vulnerable refugees get out of harm’s way as quickly and safely as possible. I support both of these commitments because in Jesus, my conscience is bound by both. And, as Luther once famously said, “To go against conscience is neither right nor safe.”

This is not a new subject for me or for the church that I serve. For two years strong, Christ Presbyterian in Nashville has embraced every opportunity availed to us to give a cup of cold water to the least of these, especially Syrian refugees who are out there on the run, as well as the sixty thousand or so who now reside in Nashville. Currently, we have several missional communities and member-led nonprofits focused on refugee care. We have deployed over $150,000 toward relief efforts, partnering with organizations such as World Relief, World Vision, and Preemptive Love Coalition. As for me, I have preached sermons, written essays, and spoken at conferences on this crisis. Our oldest daughter is majoring in Global Studies, volunteering for a refugee resettlement organization, and planning to learn Arabic in the Middle East so she can return to the States and minister among Muslim refugees as a Christian. My wife has recently become engaged in the crisis locally. Finally, I have written about this humanitarian crisis in chapter 18 of my latest book, Befriend, a book about creating belonging in an age of judgment, isolation and fear.

Lest the reader interpret this as some sort of left-wing partisan stance, it is not. I stand for the vulnerable refugee in the same way that I have always stood for the vulnerable unborn. It is a biblically-driven justice and human rights stance, plain and simple. I have no personal beef with President Obama or President Trump. For this reason, my liberal friends sometimes suspect me of being a Republican and my conservative friends sometimes suspect me of being a Democrat. You might say that I am one of those pastors who feels too conservative for his liberal friends and too liberal for his conservative friends. If this is an outcome of following the whole Jesus instead of merely following part of him, then sign me up and so be it.

In addition to being for the unborn and for the refugee, I am committed to a stance of honor regarding any leader, especially when said leader holds the office of President. Our church has supported my commitment not to insult, belittle, or speak ill of either President Obama or of our new President, Donald Trump (I wrote more about this in a previous post, which can be seen here). Instead, our people have joined me in the equally Christian commitment to show respect for all leaders, including those whose policies and personalities may at times stand in contrast to Christian convictions and beliefs. To the church in a decidedly anti-Christian Rome, Paul wrote the following under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit:

Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. (Romans 13:1)

This was true of President Obama. It is also true of President Trump.

Thankfully, as an evangelical Christian, I am not alone in my desire to honor our leaders and remain committed to refugee care.

Recently, I joined evangelical leaders across North America including friends like Tim and Kathy Keller, Bill and Lynne Hybels, John Perkins, Ann Voskamp, Sandy Willson, John Yates, Max Lucado, Eugene Cho and many others, by adding my signature to this petition to our President. (Most unfortunately, certain news outlets have attached inflammatory, partisan headlines to the story that have, in the experience of many, caused the actual substance of the petition to be lost. For example, one outlet called the petition a “denouncement” of President Trump. The use of such a word is an inflammatory overreach, to say the least. Please ignore the headlines and read the actual petition.)

The Most Beautiful People

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

     - Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

The Way To Behave

This is how Christians are supposed to do it! From a Facebok post by Stephen Crowder:

My wife was just rear-ended in a car collision. Let me start this personal message by saying this; don’t worry, she’s fine. But the incident also forced me to take a look at myself and made me realize why I’m so proud of her.

A run of the mill stop light rear-ending. My wife pulled up, stopped, but the lady behind her didn’t. The crash occurred. When my wife told me about it on the phone, my first instinct was to get mad. “She was probably texting or something, right?!” I yelled.

“… can you stop for a second and let me just tell you what happened?” she responded much more level-headed in tone.

She went on to tell me that as she exited her vehicle, the lady who’d hit her was noticeably agitated. My wife also noticed that she was a cancer-patient, undergoing chemo. Furthermore, she noticed a cross on said woman’s window.

Before she could escalate the situation any further, my wife asked her if she was okay. The first thing my wife did was check on the woman, not her own car. Immediately the woman’s tone changed and she became less angry, more apologetic.

"I wasn't texting or anything," she defended herself. "It's just chemo-brain. I was distracted. I'm so sorry."

“Accidents happen,” my wife said. “I notice you have a cross on your window. This is what being a Christian is. What kind of Christians would we be if we just screamed and raged at each other all the time over accidents?"

Completely disarmed, the woman broke down into tears, clutching my wife as they stood there on the shoulder of the road, hugging each other. The woman proceeded to tell my wife her story. She told my wife about her cancer treatments, about losing her fiancé, about how hard it's been and about how cancer was the best thing that ever happened to her because it brought her back to God after she'd long lost her way. Along with insurance information exchanged, my wife made sure to get the lady's personal info, promising that we'd be praying for her.

Finally, the police officer arrived on the scene, dumbfounded.

"Usually people aren't hugging and laughing with a car in that kind of shape!" He said. "I've never seen anything like it." The officer was touched as well to see a display of humanity in a context where many people lose theirs. Once all information was exchanged and the reports were filed, everyone went on their merry way.

Think about this for a second. This entire situation could have been wildly different had people's perceptions and reactions been different. My wife could have flown into a rage. The other woman could have been uncooperative, the police officer could have been on a curt power trip. Instead, an unfortunate car accident was turned into a positive human interaction for everyone involved. A blessing.

That's entirely due to a CHOICE. A choice to be kind, a choice to be compassionate and empathetic. I'll be honest, sometimes that's not my choice. Sometimes, like many of us, I can be too quick to anger, and too slow to listen. Who knows how many blessings of which I've robbed MYSELF when I give into carnal instincts like that. Let alone others.

It's why everyday, I'm a work in progress.

But most of all, it's why I love my wife.

How To Not Say The Wrong Thing

This needs to be heard, understood, and practiced!  How Not To Say the Wrong Thing In Death, Illness,  Divorce and Other Crises by Susan Silk and Barry Goldman (HT: United Methodist Church of North Texas)

When Susan had breast cancer, we heard a lot of lame remarks, but our favorite came from one of Susan’s colleagues. She wanted, she needed, to visit Susan after the surgery, but Susan didn’t feel like having visitors, and she said so. Her colleague’s response? “This isn’t just about you.”

“It’s not?” Susan wondered. “My breast cancer is not about me? It’s about you?”

The same theme came up again when our friend Katie had a brain aneurysm. She was in intensive care for a long time and finally got out and into a step-down unit. She was no longer covered with tubes and lines and monitors, but she was still in rough shape. A friend came and saw her and then stepped into the hall with Katie’s husband, Pat. “I wasn’t prepared for this,” she told him. “I don’t know if I can handle it.”

This woman loves Katie, and she said what she did because the sight of Katie in this condition moved her so deeply. But it was the wrong thing to say. And it was wrong in the same way Susan’s colleague’s remark was wrong.

Susan has since developed a simple technique to help people avoid this mistake. It works for all kinds of crises: medical, legal, financial, romantic, even existential. She calls it the Ring Theory.

 Illustration by Wes Bausmith / Los Angeles Times

The ‘Ring Theory’ of kvetching works in all kinds of crises — medical, legal, even existential.

Draw a circle. This is the center ring. In it, put the name of the person at the center of the current trauma. For Katie’s aneurysm, that’s Katie. Now draw a larger circle around the first one. In that ring put the name of the person next closest to the trauma. In the case of Katie’s aneurysm, that was Katie’s husband, Pat. Repeat the process as many times as you need to. In each larger ring put the next closest people. Parents and children before more distant relatives. Intimate friends in smaller rings, less intimate friends in larger ones. When you are done you have a Kvetching Order. One of Susan’s patients found it useful to tape it to her refrigerator.

Here are the rules. The person in the center ring can say anything she wants to anyone, anywhere. She can kvetch and complain and whine and moan and curse the heavens and say, “Life is unfair” and “Why me?” That’s the one payoff for being in the center ring.

Everyone else can say those things too, but only to people in larger rings.

When you are talking to a person in a ring smaller than yours, someone closer to the center of the crisis, the goal is to help. Listening is often more helpful than talking. But if you’re going to open your mouth, ask yourself if what you are about to say is likely to provide comfort and support. If it isn’t, don’t say it. Don’t, for example, give advice. People who are suffering from trauma don’t need advice. They need comfort and support. So say, “I’m sorry” or “This must really be hard for you” or “Can I bring you a pot roast?” Don’t say, “You should hear what happened to me” or “Here’s what I would do if I were you.” And don’t say, “This is really bringing me down.”

If you want to scream or cry or complain, if you want to tell someone how shocked you are or how icky you feel, or whine about how it reminds you of all the terrible things that have happened to you lately, that’s fine. It’s a perfectly normal response. Just do it to someone in a bigger ring.

Comfort IN, dump OUT.

There was nothing wrong with Katie’s friend saying she was not prepared for how horrible Katie looked, or even that she didn’t think she could handle it. The mistake was that she said those things to Pat. She dumped IN.

Complaining to someone in a smaller ring than yours doesn’t do either of you any good. On the other hand, being supportive to her principal caregiver may be the best thing you can do for the patient.

Most of us know this. Almost nobody would complain to the patient about how rotten she looks. Almost no one would say that looking at her makes them think of the fragility of life and their own closeness to death. In other words, we know enough not to dump into the center ring. Ring Theory merely expands that intuition and makes it more concrete: Don’t just avoid dumping into the center ring, avoid dumping into any ring smaller than your own.

Remember, you can say whatever you want if you just wait until you’re talking to someone in a larger ring than yours.

And don’t worry. You’ll get your turn in the center ring. You can count on that.

Ugly Orthodoxy

“If we are Christians and do not have upon us the calling to respond to the lostness of the lost and a compassion for those of our kind, our orthodoxy is ugly and it stinks. And it not only stinks in the presence of the hippie, it stinks in the presence of anybody who’s an honest man. And more than that, I’ll tell you something else, orthodoxy without compassion stinks with God.”

          - Francis A. Schaeffer, Death in the City

Impossible Situations

Good stuff from Steve Brown - "What To Do In An Impossible Situation:"

Jesus just couldn’t get away from all the people who needed him. Jesus went away to a lonely place to rest and to pray in Mark 6, only to have a hungry crowd of five thousand meet him…with no fast food in sight. That is what I’d call an impossible situation.
It may look to you like everybody else has it all together except for you. Others look at you and think the very same thing. The fact is we’re all in this, facing an impossible situation. If you’re like the rest of us, you may find yourself facing pain, hurt, loneliness, worry, frustration and failure.

Recognize that there are some impossible situations you just can’t do anything about. The slogan, “the difficult we do immediately while the impossible takes a little longer,” sounds good…but it just isn’t true. For every problem, there isn’t always a solution.

Jesus and his disciples found themselves in an impossible situation with only five loaves and two fish to feed five thousand people. (It is one thing to add water to the soup to feed some extra people, but this is in another category altogether.) What Jesus did here is exactly the same thing he does in your impossible situation.

Compassion

Jesus met the impossible situation with compassion (“he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd,” Mark 6:34).

“Is there really a God?” is an irrelevant question. The important question is, “What kind of God?” If God cares and loves, then you can deal with impossibilities. Christ revealed a God of compassion: a God who knows when a sparrow dies and when you lose a single hair (he’s been thinking about me a lot). God cares about the lilies of the field and he’s especially concerned about his own, believers in the body of Christ. 

Jesus preached with his actions. Jesus came into the world, allowing us to see a God who really cares, a God who really reaches out. With God, you can deal with death, pain and impossibilities…as long as you know he cares for you.

Instruction

Jesus met the impossible situation with instruction (“and he began to teach them many things,” Mark 6:34).

In Psalm 119:9-16, the Psalmist wrote, “How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word. With my whole heart I have sought You; Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!...I will delight myself in Your statutes; I will not forget Your word.”

Where does the Word become real in your life? It becomes real in your impossible situations. God doesn’t just leave you in the darkness, he teaches you in your impossible situation. Jesus said, “In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Jesus said, “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now” (John 16:12). In other words, “you’re going to learn them as you go through the bad times.” In the midst of an impossible situation ask, “God, what are you trying to teach me?” Pray that God’s Word becomes real in your impossible situation.

Every facet of your life—good and bad, every hurt you suffer and every impossible situation you face—is bathed in the teaching of God’s Word. That teaching gives understanding. And that understanding makes the impossible situation bearable.

Sufficiency

Jesus met the impossible situation with sufficiency. Only five loaves and two fish, but in the hand of Christ, it was sufficient.

2 Corinthians 3:5 teaches, “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God.”

Are you a great sinner? His grace is sufficient for you. Are you unwanted? His love is sufficient for you. Are you afraid? His courage is sufficient for you. Are you dying? His promise is sufficient for you.

Jesus met an impossible situation with sufficiency. Whatever your impossible situation, he will be sufficient. He may not change it or erase it, but he will be sufficient in it.

Abundance

Jesus met the impossible situation with abundance.

The Father’s abundance is taught throughout Scripture: “Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you” (Luke 6:38). “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen” (Ephesians 3:20-21). “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” (John 10:10).

The Father meets your impossible situation with abundance. At that point, there is a joy welling up that isn’t even related to circumstances. It is the abundance that God gives.

In your impossible situation, remember that the Father is with you. And that makes all the difference in the world.

The Same Jesus

Click on cartoon to see it larger.

From RadioFreeBabylon.com

Tebow Shows Class

Football season may be over, but off the field Tim Tebow continues to demonstrate the meanings of the terms character, grace and compassion.  Check this out:


Tim Tebow ignores Brady Quinn’s slights while serving as dream date for 9-year-old.
     
 

Content Rich & Compassion Saturated

A great need in all forms of Christian communication today, whether witnessing, preaching, writing, or teaching, is the ability...

"...to communicate a content-rich message in a compassion-saturated relationship. "

(Dane Ortlund, quoting Randy Newman, at Strawberry-Rhubarb Theology)

O Lord, teach us and form us to do this, to be like this, to live this!

I'm No Better

Love this song by Shaun Groves.  He said "When asked by a magazine to make a public statement about a friend’s sin I wrote a song about my own instead."


No Better (Demo) from Shaun Groves on Vimeo.

No Better
Words & Music by Shaun Groves
(C) 2010 Simplicity Street Music/ASCAP

When you sling your stone
Aim it at her heart
Where every crime comes from
Where every stumble starts
And save the next for me
Muster all your skill
‘Cause sin in secrecy
Is the hardest kind to kill

Lay me down with the liars
The brawlers, thieves and backbiters
Lay me down with the others
‘Cause I’m no better

There’s no justice here
Just as well you know
We’ve all got hell to pay
But grace pays all we owe

Lay me down with the liars
The brawlers, thieves and backbiters
Lay me down with the others
‘Cause I’m no better
Lay me down with the takers
Politicians, cheats and heart breakers
Lay me down with the others
‘Cause I’m no better

World AIDS Day

My friend Elysa at Musings from Graceland has written a thoughtful and moving discussion on World Aids Day, and how the Lord changed her heart about AIDS victims through here missionary connections in Swaziland, Africa She served as a missionary there in the 80's, her daughter went there on a mission trip last summer, and the family has maintained connections there.

Swaziland had been flooded with disease and death as a result of HIV/AIDS. When I had lived there in the 1980's, no one talked about HIV/AIDS. Well, almost no one. I remember one missionary doctor telling my brother that the HIV/AIDS rate among the general population was the same as the rate of infection among the prostitutes. I stored that fact away in my brain somewhere but it didn't seem real as I didn't personally know of anyone affected. And at that time, the rate was still relatively low. But fast forward nearly 20 years and Swaziland had become the nation with the highest HIV/AIDS rate and the lowest life expectancy in the world...and as a result, a rapidly growing orphan population as parents began, as described by a Swazi pastor, "dropping like flies".

Estimates of the infection rate range from 1/4 to nearly 1/2 of the population. 1/3 seems like a safe bet. One out of three!

That hit me hard. I realized that the preschool children I had sang silly songs with and the youth girls that I had hosted sleepovers for at my house were among these
infected. And because so few are being adequately treated, most of them are
dying horrific deaths. My babies. My students. My fellow church members. My
neighbors. Dying, dying, dying.

I recommend her article for your consideration and prayer.

Law of the Garbage Truck

People send me a lot of e-mails that have been forwarded through long chains of e-mail addresses. Most of it I just delete. This one, however, actually had a good point that struck a cord with me. What do you think?

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital! 'This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.

Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Have a blessed, garbage-free day!

This story reminded me of the little kid who thought the Lord's prayer goes like this: "Forgive us our trash buckets, as we forgive those who put trash in our buckets."

A lot of truth in that.

Power of Compassion

Here's a great letter from a female voter to Jay Nordlinger at The Corner on National Review Online after watching Sarah Palin's speech Wednesday night.

Dear Jay,

I have an out-of-wedlock child. Unfortunately, the father of my son did not step up to the plate, as Levi seems to be doing. All but one member of my family were so ashamed of my situation that they ignored me for the entirety of my pregnancy and during the first few months of my son’s life.

I found acceptance and comfort where I never expected it. I’m not a particularly religious person, and at the time I attended a Baptist church only occasionally. But the members of this church took it upon themselves to take care of me. By “taking care of me,” I mean that they had a baby shower, called to check up on me, and, after my son was born, brought meals to my house. Stuff like that.

Not once did I feel I was being judged. I might not have the deep faith that those Christians do and sometimes am puzzled by some of the things they say they believe — but I become deeply uncomfortable any time I hear Christian-bashing. With them, there was (as you said) no shame, agony, or hiding under the couch.

Also, my son is high-functioning autistic. Boy, was Governor Palin right on when she said that special-needs children inspire a special kind of love! This son of mine did not fit into a perfect plan, but because he is, I have been so enriched — I have no doubt the same will be true for the Palins.

Compassion and acceptance are powerful things.