If Jack Bauer Was My Pastor

Here's a little Friday morning humor for all you "24" fans from The Blazing Center asking the provocative question - What If Jack Bauer Was My Pastor

What would his church be like? His counseling sessions? Here’s what I think it would be like…

• Counseling sessions would be fast. Really fast. Because he only has two minutes, and you better tell him what’s going on or he’s going to mash your knee with his oversized Bible.

• He would scream the word “now” a lot. As in, “Tell me why you were impatient with your wife. NOW!”

• Every counseling session would end with a confession, because Pastor Jack can pull a confession out of anybody. Even if you didn’t do it.

• In every elders meeting Jack would inform the elders that “he did what he had to”.

• He would answer every theological question the same way: “It’s complicated…”

• He would probably fake his death several times as sermon illustrations.

• Scripture references in sermons would be called “backup”.

• The church would meet in an abandoned warehouse. The ushers would also be snipers and would establish a perimeter around the building.

• At least three times a week Jack would be misunderstood by his congregation and have to go “dark” until he could clear his name.

Churches for Ugly People

In light of the whole Susan Boyle thing which is all over the Internet these days, Michael Spencer at internetmonk.com wrote Saturday about church as a place for ordinary - or even ugly -looking people. Ever notice how Christian television (yuck!), ministry convention platforms and CCM album covers are filled with hunky guys and beautiful, sexy women, but no ordinary people? Makes one wonder if we've ever read James 2:! - "My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. "

I agree, Michael! Us ordinary non -hunky people want to be accepted and used by God too!

40 Years Ago Tonight

Forty years ago tonight, Christmas Eve 1968, I was a 12 year old boy with a Christmas television dilemma. On one channel the annual Red Skelton Christmas special was on. Our family really loved Red Skelton, and we all wanted to watch it. But on another channel was one of the most exciting events in human history -a live television broadcast from the Moon!

I was a space fanatic who wanted to grow up to be an astronaut. I knew all the astronauts by name. I cried in January 1967 when three men died in the Apollo 1 fire. I had models of the various spacecraft and wanted to explain to anyone who would listen what was happening out at the moon.

Therefore, I chose both. Sitting inches from our black and white TV, I manually switched channels back and forth to see both the Skelton show and the moon broadcast.

Thus I was able to hear these words: "And for all the people back on earth, the crew of Apollo 8 has a message we would like to send to you. 'In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth..'"

The astronaut crew of Frank Borman, Jim Lovell and Bill Anders then took turns reading Genesis 1 from the King James Version of the Bible. As they read the ancient words, the on board TV camera showed the lunar landscape passing underneath the small and lonely spacecraft. The memory of hearing and watching that broadcast, and experiencing it live, is still awe inspiring even after 40 years.

Commander Frank Borman closed the broadcast with "And from the crew of Apollo 8, we close with good night, good luck, and a Merry Christmas to all of you, all of you on the good Earth."

Here's wishing a Merry Christmas this night, forty years later, to all of you on the good earth.

Time to Fly

Here's the Season 8 poster for Smallville. Come on guys- go ahead and turn him into Superman! Enough with the prep time already! Time to Fly!

Hat Tip: Krypton Site

Stuff Christian Culture Likes

New Fun Web Page:
Stuff Christian Culture Likes

Go ahead- laugh at yourself. I did.

Hat Tip: Goodmanson.com

Update: Thinking Out Loud comments

Weekend Sci-Fi Fun Stuff: 20 Greatest Sci-Fi TV Shows

Entertainment Weekly has published a list of the 20 Greatest Sci-Fi TV Shows.

20. BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY (1979-1981)
19. THE SIX-MILLION DOLLAR MAN (1974-1978)
18. THE JETSONS (1962-1963)
17. MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 (1989-1999)
16. ALIEN NATION (1989-1990)
15. THE PRISONER (1967)
14. OUTER LIMITS (1963-1965)
13. BABYLON 5 (1993-1998)
12. V: THE MINISERIES (1983-1984)
11. HEROES (2006-)
10. MAX HEADROOM (1987-1988)
9. DOCTOR WHO (1963-)
8. QUANTUM LEAP (1989-1993)
7. FIREFLY (2002)
6. LOST (2004-)
5. STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION (1987-1994
4. THE X-FILES (1993-2002)
3. BATTLESTAR GALACTICA (2003-)
2. STAR TREK (1966-1969)
1. TWILIGHT ZONE (1959-1964)

I agree with most of this list, except I would rank Star Trek #1, Babylon Five #2, and replace The Prisoner with The Time Tunnel. In my opinion Babylon Five is the greatest sci-fi TV show ever, but Star Trek had more industry and cultural influence.

What do you think!

Watching the Christian TV Train Wrecks

Michael Mckinley at the 9 Marks Blog (Church Matters: The 9Marks Blog) says he will watch TBN on Sunday mornings so that the rest of us don't have to. As one who can't stand most Christian television programing, I must say "Thanks, Michael - what a sacrifice!"

Well, here's my confession: I love watching the televangelists. I don't know why. Before my wife started cranking out kids, she worked in an emergency room. She used to watch ER, just to complain about poor intubation technique or excessive use of the defibrillator. Maybe it's something like that for me. I love to watch the guys and gals early on Sunday morning, doing their thing... it's like a car wreck that you can't look away from. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

After some funny commentary on all the prosperity gospel preachers, he turns to the EWTN Roman Catholic programs:

-- This old nun is just saying "Haily Mary" after "Hail Mary". Seriously, for like 10 minutes. I have to admit, after Rod Parsley, this is kind of refreshing.

-- I do not get the appeal of this religion. It's like none of the fun of the Prosperity Gospel and none of the truth of the real gospel.

Whatever happened to the real Gospel? Does anybody still talk about it? You sure can't find much about it on television.

Read the whole article for a good laugh.