Pulling Up the Bitter Weeds

A Prayer for Riding Ourselves of All Bitterness and Resentment by Scotty Ward Smith - A prayer we can ll pray, and need to pray. (Hebrews 12:15, Job 5:2, Ephesians 4:31-32)

Dear heavenly Father, these Scriptures cut to the chase and bring conviction to our hearts. We are your beloved daughters and sons, but today we are also your “busted” daughters and sons; for resentment comes to us as quickly as someone steals our parking place, or eats the saran-wrapped piece of cake we hid in the “frig,” or fails to include us in some social event. It’s amazing how quickly a little slight can launch us into a big spite. Have mercy on us, Lord, and grant us fresh grace, thicker skin and bigger hearts.

But Father, being slighted is one thing, but being assaulted by the betrayals and failures, deceit and lies, attacks and abuse of others, is an altogether different matter. These aren’t things to shake off, but deep wounds, broken hearts, and incredible pain to bring to your throne of grace. You’re not calling us to denial, but to yourself. Have mercy on us, Lord, have big mercy; and grant us wisdom, strength and tons of grace.

Father—through the power of your Holy Spirit, the truth of the gospel, and the gift of community, don’t let our appropriate anger morph into destructive revenge. Don’t let our raw hurts become a band of vigilante marauders, not just bent on getting even, but upping the ante—repaying harm for harm, evil for evil, and death for death.

Don’t let our vulnerable hearts become gardens for the planting of roots of resentment and bushes of bitterness; and keep us from medicating our pain foolishly. Father, as Jesus has forgiven us, so help us to want to forgive others. Write stories of redemption and restoration with the ink of our hurt and your grace. So very Amen we pray, in Jesus’ tender and triumphant name.

That Nasty F-Word: Forgive

The Christian F-Word by Jerry Jeter (Not what you think)

There is no relationship between the "F" word the world uses and the "F" word a Christian uses. Jesus would not have used vulgar language. Followers of Christ should not use vulgar language. We're called to take up our cross and follow Jesus daily. We are to live the way Jesus lived.

Jesus spoke the "F" word I'm thinking of. Christians should like the word. Yet, there are some who choose to avoid it. If a Christian avoids this "F" word, they are not speaking the language Jesus told us to speak. So, why do some avoid it? Because it is hard to FORGIVE.

That's it. Forgive. Forgiveness. Forgave. That's what I'm talking about. Jesus forgave us. He spoke the word many times, but one of the more magnificent ways He used this word was when He was being nailed to the cross. He said, "Father, FORGIVE them for they know not what they do." We don't like to forgive people who hurt us. Jesus forgave the people who nailed Him to the cross while they were in the act of hurting Him. He didn't even wait for them to ask for forgiveness.

Are you waiting for somebody to ask you to forgive them? It could happen. However, it might not happen. They might not know they hurt you. They might be justifying their actions. Or, it's possible they truly thought whatever they did to hurt you was "for your own good." Who knows? You don't have to wait for somebody to ask you to forgive them. You can forgive before being asked.

I'm glad Jesus forgave me. His nails should have been mine. He took the nails for me, for my sin... and for yours. Even though we are the cause of His pain, Jesus forgives us.

Holding a grudge doesn't help anybody. It hurts the person who holds it far more than it hurts the person the grudge is being held against. Forgiveness is a new beginning for the one who was wronged.

I FORGIVE you might be hard to say, but it will bring peace to the life of the one who speaks it.

Turning Away From Mean

Great piece by J. Lee Grady - When Christians Turn Mean and Hateful:

..The father of the modern Pentecostal movement, William "Daddy" Seymour, knew that there is a direct correlation between the level of the Holy Spirit in our lives and the way we treat people. He said: "Pentecostal power, when you sum it all up, is just more of God's love. If it does not bring more love, it is simply a counterfeit."

Ouch! What we need today in the church is a revival of genuine love. If you want to see such a revival in your own heart, start by taking these steps:

1. Let go of all unforgiveness. The No. 1 reason people have anger seething under the surface of their hearts is they have not forgiven people who hurt them. Holding resentment in your heart is not only unhealthy for you (it can cause disease); it is also toxic for those around you, because they are subjected to your bitter venom when you speak. Forgive people quickly and allow the sweetness of God's love to neutralize the poison.

2. Get healing from past abuse. Many people are verbal abusers because they were abused, bullied, rejected or judged in the past. If that was your story, you can break the cycle through the power of Christ. Let Him teach you how to love people, even if no one in your past knew how. Also, open your life to a mature mentor who can model Christian love to you, and take the risk of building healthy friendships.

3. Go on a fast from negative words. Many Christians fast at the beginning of each year to ask God for personal revival. But you can fast from sweets, carbs and proteins for 21 days and still be spiritually unchanged if you are complaining, grumbling, criticizing or spewing hateful words from your mouth every day. Ask God to set a guard over your mouth to instantly convict you of unkind words and actions that quench the Holy Spirit.

4. Stop bashing the church. Today there are a growing number of disillusioned Christians who have given up on the church because they were hurt by a pastor or a fellow believer. These so-called "dones" (people who are "done" with organized churches) sometimes feel compelled to vent in public forums about how the church has failed them. Yet bashing the church is never going to make anyone feel better; it will only drive them farther from God and His reconciling power.

We must remember what British preacher Charles Spurgeon said: "You are no lover of Christ if you do not love His children ... Love Christ and you will soon love all that love Him." God loves His church with all of its flaws, and so should you.

5. Let God stretch your love. The apostle Peter wrote: "Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere love of the brethren, fervently love one another from the heart" (1 Peter 1:22, NASB, emphasis added). The Greek word for "fervently," ektenos, means "stretched." It implies that if we want to love people like God loves them, we will be stretched to the max. Stretching hurts, but in a good way!

God wants to put His very heart inside you, but He can't until you make room by getting rid of every hateful attitude. Open your heart wide, and let His love invade the places you have closed. His fervent love can change a bitter, angry, cynical critic into a kind, gentle, affectionate lover of people.

"Benefits" of Unforgiveness?

At the Desiring God site, there is an interesting post entitled Five "Benefits" of Unforgiveness (Then the Better Way):

Why don’t people just forgive? That is a very good question. If forgiveness is easier and more beneficial, why isn’t it more popular? The sad reality is that there is short-term, relationally destructive power in refusing to forgive. Holding onto the other's wrongs gives us the upper hand in our relationship. We keep a record of wrongs because we are not motivated by what honors God and is best for others but by what is expedient for ourselves.

The article lists five temporary "benefits" from not forgiving, but then shows the long term bad consequences nad the better way of forgiveness.  So much more at the link above.

Hope is Grounded in Forgiveness

"Our happiness lies in hope.  If we can approach the future with hope, we can be happy.  This is because hope is the prevailing attitude that the pain and disappointments of the past do not have to be endlessly repeated. Hope dares to imagine the future as a legitimate alternative to the vicious repetitions of the past.  But the refusal to forgive is a toxic memory that endlessly pulls the painful past into the present.  The toxic memory of the unforgiven past poisons the present and contaminates the future."

Unconditional: The Call of Jesus to Radical Forgiveness, by Brian Zahnd, Page 71