Marriage Defined

I do not know who originally created this, so i con't give them credit. Whoever you are, well done!

Divorce Excuses

From J. Lee Grady - Six Weakest Excuses Christians Use to End Their Marriages. Don't try and use any of these, especially # 6!

...Here are the six most common bad excuses I've heard recently from people who chose the easy road to divorce instead of the narrower path to healing:

1. "We never should have married in the first place." Couples who are in love can make foolish decisions, for sure. Some hurriedly elope without any pre-marital counseling, while others aren't financially ready—so marriage becomes a nightmare of stress and unpaid bills. Once you choose to marry, you must assume the responsibility of adulthood. Grow up and accept the consequences of your choices. If you shirk your responsibility now by bailing out, you will end up running from maturity the rest of your life.

2. "Our families don't get along." I recently learned that a young man who had been married for two years—and gotten his wife pregnant—decided to leave the marriage because his parents never liked his choice for a wife. That's ridiculous. A marriage is not between families—it's a unique relationship between a man and a woman. Genesis 2:24 says a man should "leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife." Married couples who allow parents to control their marriages are headed for disaster.

3. "We've grown apart." This is a classic line, but the accurate translation is: "I'm copping out." It is also an indication that your connection with your spouse is based more on fluffy romantic feelings than a solid covenant commitment. Satan loves to divide—and he will use suspicion, mistrust, anger, bitterness and abusive words to create a toxic environment in your home. Don't give the devil this opportunity (see Eph. 4:27) by listening to his lies. Jesus can reconnect what you've allowed to drift apart.

4. "We argue too much." That's a lame excuse. Many married couples in the Bible had frequent disagreements—including Abraham and Sarah, the father and mother of our faith. Arguing is actually healthier than burying your emotions—as long as you know how to resolve a conflict and let go of anger quickly. If you and your spouse argue constantly, it could be a sign that you don't manage stress well or that one or both of you need some new communication skills. Finding a new spouse will not fix your problem if the problem is you!

5. "Counseling didn't help." I'm a big believer in marriage counseling, and estranged couples should always pursue counseling before calling it quits. But if your marriage has been in trouble for years, three one-hour sessions with a pastor will not fix your problems overnight. Counselors are not magicians. Be patient. If your marriage is in shambles, it will take some time to repair it. It may take months just to clear away the debris before you can rebuild.

6. "God told me to marry someone else." This is the most laughably absurd excuse I've ever heard, but even preachers have used it. One California minister divorced his wife and married another woman within a week because "God said to." It's sad that God gets blamed for such foolishness. If you ever think God is telling you to do something that clearly contradicts the Bible, you are under the influence of a deceiving spirit. Please humble yourself and get help immediately.

If you are having marriage problems, and you think divorce is your only option, stop everything and take a deep breath. Go slow. Before you race to open the escape hatch, or seek to justify your exit, ask God to give you His counsel—and seek help from friends.

While there certainly can be situations where divorce is inevitable, don't assume this is your only option. The Father's love and mercy may surprise you.

100%

The Divorce Myth

We've all heard the statement: "Christians divorce at roughly the same rate as the world!"

Here's the truth...

People who seriously practice a traditional religious faith---whether Christian or other---have a divorce rate markedly lower than the general population.

The factor making the most difference is religious commitment and practice.

What appears intuitive is true. Couples who regularly practice any combination of serious religious behaviors and attitudes---attend church nearly every week, read their bibles and spiritual materials regularly; pray privately and together; generally take their faith seriously, living not as perfect disciples, but serious disciples---enjoy significantly lower divorce rates than mere church members, the general public, and unbelievers.

 Note that it is belief combined with practice that makes the difference, not just profession of faith. Much more at the link.

Tim Keller's Google Talk On Marriage

Tim Keller made an hour long talk on the meaning of Marriage from a Christian perspective to Google employees at their headquarters. This event took place on November 14, 2011, as part of the Authors@Google series. I can't think of anyone else who could do this, certainly not as well as he did. It's worth a listen!

Hat Tip: Reformissionary: Tim Keller | Google Talk On Marriage

Of course, his book The Meaning of Marriage is great too!

Defining Marriage in a Kardashian World

Tim Keller was interviewed on Fox News the other day on the subject of the meaning of marriage in the light of the Kardashian fiasco, and the general state of marriage in American society. The interview is prompted by the publishing of the new book he co-authored with his wife, Kathy Keller, entitled The Meaning of Marriage.

The video is below. Please excuse the advertisement you have to listen to to get to the interview: I have no control over that. But the interview is well worth the wait.



Hat Tip: Vitamin Z

Love Until the End

Here's a beautiful story of marital faithfulness from Elizabeth Scalia, aka The Anchoress - Love, Limits, and Loss.  Some people still believe in 'until death do us part."   Some men still know how to love their brides as Christ loves the Church (Eph 5:25)

A neighbor of mine works as a therapist for Alzheimer’s patients, both high-functioning and low. She recently described one sixty-ish daily visitor. “He is a saint. Every day he brings his lunch and eats with his wife. She doesn’t recognize him, so every day she is meeting a new friend. When we told him he needn’t come so often he said, ‘But she is my bride; if I did not see her, I would miss her.’”

The man’s wife had changed, but if she was no longer capable of seeing her groom, he still beheld and adored his bride. Their marriage, then, is the microcosmic reflection of the macro-love of God for his people and the love of Christ for his church. Love without limit, love without fear, love without desertion; love in joy and in pain, love in the shallows and the depths, love without end.

We cannot see God except as he is made manifest through us, and in the covenant of marriage his faithfulness is beautifully reflected. We look to this manifestation—in all its turbulent courses—to get an inkling of him. When we cannot see the great love of God reflected so near to us, we are diminished.

When love is rationalized into limits, we have sold love, and ourselves, short. If God is love, we have sold God short, too. We have chosen to walk around a fire, rather than through it, chosen not to trust that our sufferings have meaning and that they are, on balance, the crucibles of our commonalities, which mold and strengthen our societies.

 This one makes me cry.  May God enable me to love my bride to the end like this man has.