This blog compiles some notes and observations from one average guy's journey of life, faith and thought, along with some harvests from my reading (both on-line and in print). Learning to follow Jesus is a journey; come join me on the never-ending adventure!
The order is vital if you want to connect with God.
That’s why the disciples talked so much about the gospel, which means good news. In the Roman world, the word referred to the announcement of a new emperor taking the throne. Messengers would declare to all people that this new ruler would bring peace and freedom.
What was startling about their claim was the particular event they pointed to as good news.
That event was the death of Jesus on the Cross.
What looked on the surface like defeat was actually triumph. The Apostle Paul says that on the cross God provided forgiveness of sin “by canceling the record of debt” (Colossians 1:14). On the cross, Jesus reconciled fallen, sinful humans to a holy and just God.
Jesus did not simply come as a wise teacher, or visionary leader. He came as a Savior and Redeemer. Jesus did not simply offer proverbial wisdom or philosophical principles. He offered himself as a Sacrifice.
This is why Christianity is something to be received, not achieved. This is why Christianity is good news before it is ever good advice.
Whatever advice there may be is not about reaching up to God, but realizing God—through Jesus—has already reached down to us.
Most men have issues with friendship and intimacy. Darrin Patrick says the reason is lack of emotional health, and has some helpful advice in The Magic Formula for Manhood:
Intimacy is a dirty word to most guys, unless it is codeword for sex. In fact, most guys would struggle to define intimacy with a woman apart from sex. Then we read in the Bible that we are to have intimacy with other dudes:
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” (John 13:34)
“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” (Romans 12:10)
“Having purified your souls by obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart,” (1 Peter 1:22)
But despite our trepidation, intimate relationships with men are vital for our flourishing as men. The Grant Study, one of the longest longitudinal studies of male development in history (75 years!) has shown that body type, birth order, political affiliation, and even social class are nowhere near as accurate in determining how men will fare in life.
New York Times columnist David Brooks summarizes the findings. “In case after case,” he writes, “the magic formula is capacity for intimacy combined with persistence, discipline, order and dependability. The men who could be affectionate about people and organized about things had very enjoyable lives.”
To put it even more simply: the secret to true manhood is emotional health.
There are a number of different elements to emotional health, but with regards to relationships, it’s about the ability to know and be known.
Sadly, most guys have zero vision for how to be emotionally healthy. We have few models of affectionate men who are still strong. There aren’t many who feel things deeply without allowing their emotions to drive their lives. So we really don’t know what to do with our emotions or even how to talk about them. And frankly, most guys just don’t want to talk about their emotions. This kind of intimacy feels feminine and seems both time-consuming and inefficient.
But let’s think through the alternative: Men who can’t open up to other men about the inner world of their struggles, fears, hopes, and dreams are neither challenged or celebrated. They’re only condemned by their own voice (that is, if they haven’t become numb and apathetic entirely). Men who harbor this condemnation within are always trying to prove themselves on the outside. But there’s nothing to anchor their masculine identities. They spend countless hours trying to cover over their shame and weaknesses, constantly running around in predictable and destructive behaviors. Does this sound any less time-consuming or inefficient?
What if you pursued one guy who is a bit older than you, a guy who is around your age, and another guy who is younger than you?
Make sure that you respect all of these guys, or the whole thing will fall apart. From the older man, ask for mentoring and the “trade secrets” on becoming a good man. From the peer, ask for relationship by doing some hobbies together or by getting your families together. From the younger man, ask how you can be helpful to him.
In so doing, you are simultaneously putting yourself in the place of a son, a brother, and a dad. Intimacy will follow men who settle in to these three roles.
Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.
But we often read the proverb backwards: Commit your plans to the LORD, and your work will be established. We read it as if God promises to be our coach. As if we just need a pep talk and a few pointers.
That’s not it. The promise is so much more than that!
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.
God is not just offering to coach us. He is offering to take our place.
The literal meaning of commit is to roll. So imagine your work, your way, as one of the Atlas stones from the World’s Strongest Man competitions. You’re not picking it up. All you can do is roll it towards the One who can lift it.
This promise is not for people who think they need help getting to the next level. It is for people who are so weighed down by their current responsibilities, mixed motives, and lack of discipline they can’t even get off the floor.
Nothing is too heavy or hard for him. Commit your life to his care. He can lift it.
Even though I have no ambition, gift or calling to be a church planter, I still think I want to read this book!
"In Church Planter, Darrin Patrick leads his readers through a classification of idolatry, dividing it into two categories.
Surface Idols. The more observable of the two types of idolatry, surface idols are often easily-seen offshoots of deeper, less obvious sins. Some examples include:
Image idolatry- Life only has meaning / I only have worth if I look certain way.
Helping idolatry- Life only has meaning / I only have worth if people are dependent on me.
Work idolatry- Life only has meaning / I only have worth if I am highly productive.
Materialism idolatry- Life only has meaning / I only have worth if I have a certain level of wealth, financial freedom, and possessions.
Inner Ring idolatry- Life only has meaning / I only have worth if I am part of a particular social or professional group
Ideology idolatry- Life only has meaning / I only have worth if my political party or social cause is in or gaining power.
Source Idols- The more subversive idols are the ones that drive all the other types of idolatries in our lives. They include:
Comfort idolatry- Life only has meaning / I only have worth if I experience a certain quality of life or a particular pleasure.
Approval idolatry- Life only has meaning / I only have worth if I am loved and respected by ________.
Control idolatry- Life only has meaning / I only have worth if I am able to get mastery in my life over a certain area.
Power idolatry- Life only has meaning / I only have worth if have power and influence over others.
“The key to removing idols in your life is installing Christ in the center of your being,” Patrick says. To escape from our idols, we must recognize them, own up to it, and turn from it. By repenting from idolatry and turning to the Gospel, we will find true joy in the Spirit."
Excerpts modified from chapter 12 of Church Planter.
