Showing posts with label Porn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Porn. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Finally Free

My Review of Finally Free: Fighting for Purity With the Power of Grace, bu Heath Lambert

Pornography is a big problem in the Christian community. You knew that, right? It used to be that a guy had to face the shame of going into a porn store to get it. Now it's widely available through the internet, can be viewed in the secrecy of the home, and a lot of it is free. Studies have shown that 30 to 50% of Christian men are looking a porn on a regular basis.

Heath Lambert is Executive Director of the National Association of Nouthetic Counselors, Assistant Professor of Biblical Counseling at Boyce College, a teacher at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and the Pastor of Biblical Living at Crossing Church in Louisville, Kentucky. In these roles he has extensive experience dealing with the scourge of pornography, and out of that experience and biblical knowledge has written a very good book on achieving freedom from porn.

There are lots of books out on overcoming porn. Most of them condemn the behavior as sin and point out its disastrous effects on users' spiritual lives and marriages. This one also does that. Many books offer techniques to overcome the sin, such as accountability partners, porn-blocking software, etc. This one also does that. However, there are not many books out that point to understanding God's GRACE, learning deep gratitude for that grace and increasing love and passion for Jesus, as the keys to freedom. This one does that!
"Transforming grace works when you believe that Jesus gives it to you.....If you want to change and be like Christ - whether in the area of pornography or anything else - you must believe that in Jesus you have the power to change. when you believe the power is yours, it is yours." (page 23)
"No matter how terrible pornography is, no matter how much trouble you are in, no matter ow flimsy and weak your resources are, you are never in a pit so deep that the grace of Jesus cannot lift you out. The great danger in your struggle is that you will devote all our your energy to thinking true and awful things about pornography and spend no time dwelling on the true and wonderful things about Jesus." (page 28)
I was impressed by the book's exposition of the connection between porn addiction and pride, and the value of HUMILITY in overcoming sin.
"If you look at pornography, you are arrogant....The choice is simple and clear: you can look at porn, or you can be humble. But you cannot do both." (pages 108-109)
"It's only when you rightly understand that selfish ambition is at the root of your sexual sin that the full power of grace will be set loose in your life to change you... As you fight to cultivate a heart of humility, you will also be severing the root of arrogance and selfish ambition that allows pornography to flourish in your life." (pages 110-111)
The emphasis on GRATITUDE as a weapon against sexual sin was also surprising and unique.
"Paul wants Christians to fight for thanksgiving in their struggle for purity because a greedy heart is at the root of sexual immorality and impurity" (page 125)
"Gratitude is the offensive weapon that destroys the enemy stronghold of greed that is at the source of your desire for pornography.' (page 126)
I believe that this book can be and will be a long-term key ingredient and resource in the counselling ministries of Christian leaders helping men (and women) get free from porn. I highly recommend it for men and women seeking freedom from porn, and for their spouses, friends and counselors who want to help them.

(Full Disclosure: I received a free copy of the book for review purposes. See my book review policy.)

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Your Kids and Sex

Well, that title should get a lot of attention.

Speaking of attention, Anne Marie Miller recently posted an article that has gotten a lot of it, and rightly so. Please read Three Things You Don't Know About Your Children and Sex. If you are a parent, you need to read it. It is blunt. It is scary. It is unpleasant to read. It is, however, true to the world we now live in - true to the wold your kids live in.

Please read it.... and pray about it...
 
...and then talk to your kids.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Heart Guarding for Guys

Blogger "Jamie the Very Worst Missionary" has some wise words for guys on guarding our hearts.  Wise words, even if stated in her usual humorous and self-depreciating manner. Speaking of Proverbs 4:23 she concludes:

When I look around the church, when I talk amongst my friends, when I peek into the world - I see men who are broken and hurting, men tied to their addictions, men out of control, men drowning in lust, so many men longing for peace and grace and mercy, and in desperate need of restoration for their tattered and broken hearts. Hearts that have gone unguarded for far too long. And I want to break this verse like an alabaster jar over their brows. I want to pour out the perfume of Redemption on their lives. I want to release the words of Solomon to his sons, that they may be free to take up their spears and stand guard over their own hearts, because their hearts are worthy of the effort.... above all else....

"Above all else, guard your heart, 
for it is the wellspring of life."

...Above all else..... above all else.... above all else..... guard your heart, Bro. 
Much more at the link.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Running From, Running To

Saw a insightful article by Mike Leake at SBC Voices about Running From Lust::
Flee sexual immorality...” 1 Corinthians 6:18

"It has been said, and rightly so, that sexual immorality (lust, etc.) is the only sin that we are told to run away from. Everything else we are typically told to stand firm and fight—but sexual sin can become so ensnaring that we are told to run away from it. I agree.

However, I do believe there is a huge difference between law running and gospel running. One runs out of an overflow of love and grace the other runs out of fear, guilt, and shame."
He then discusses the difference between "Law Running" and Gospel Running," with great quotes like these:
"Gospel running is radically different.  Gospel running is what happens when you are so blown away by what Christ has done that your affections actually begin to change.  You flee sexual immorality much the same way I run away gagging from a poopy diaper."

"...Law running is simply running away from something.  Gospel running is running away because of Someone and to Someone."
He concludes: 
"So if you find yourself struggling with lust it’s not a methodology problem—it’s a heart problem. You aren’t fundamentally struggling with lust because you’ve let down your guard and aren’t following your 10 steps to stay away from porn. You are fundamentally struggling with lust because your affections for Jesus are low. If you want to battle lust then do things to stir your affections. Don’t focus on trying to not lust. Focus on Christ—preach the gospel to yourself until your affections start to change and the emptiness of lust is exposed."