Strength in Lamentation

A faith that does not know how to lament and still believe may turn out to be no faith at all. True faith discovers that Lament  Helps Us to Hold On To Him (By Vaneetha Rendell Risner)

When pain almost strangles us, and darkness is our closest friend, what should we do?

For years, I thought the best response was cheerful acceptance. Since God uses everything for our good and his glory, I felt the most God-honoring attitude was to appear joyful all the time. Even when I was confused and angry. Even when my heart was breaking. And especially when I was around people who didn’t know Christ.

But I have since learned the beauty of lament in my suffering. Lament highlights the gospel more than stoicism ever could. Hearing our authentic, God-honoring lament can draw others to God in unexpected ways. I first noticed the power of lament in the book of Ruth.

Naomi’s Trust in God

I had long seen Ruth as the undisputed hero of the book that bears her name, and Naomi as the grumbling character with weak faith and a negative attitude. But having walked myself in similar shoes now for a fraction of her journey, I have a new respect for the depth of Naomi’s trust in God. Ruth was an eyewitness to Naomi’s faith. She saw her faith hold fast, even in horrific circumstances. And behind Naomi’s faith, she saw the God who heard Naomi’s lament and didn’t condemn her for it, even as Naomi spoke frankly about her disappointment with God.

Lamenting to a god would have been foreign to Ruth. Ruth’s first god, the god of Moab, was Chemosh. No one would have dared lament or complain to him. Pagan gods were to be appeased; there was no personal relationship with any of them, especially not with Chemosh, who demanded child sacrifices.

But Ruth sees a completely different God as she watches Naomi. Naomi trusts God enough to tell him how she feels. Though she says, “The hand of the Lord has gone out against me” (Ruth 1:13), Naomi doesn’t walk away from God in anger. She stays close to him and continues to use God’s covenant name, Yahweh, asking him to bless her daughters-in-law. Naomi doesn’t stop praying; she believes God hears her prayers.

Naomi’s trust is further evidenced by her determination to travel to Bethlehem alone. If Naomi felt that God had truly abandoned her, she never would have begun that journey. She would have stayed in bed, pulled the covers over her head, and died in Moab, bitter and angry at God. But she doesn’t do that. She acts in faith, trusting that God will provide for her.

Naomi’s trust is extraordinary given the tragedies she has endured. She and her husband had left Israel for Moab with their two sons in search of food. While they were there, her sons and husband died, and she was left alone. A widow. A grieving mother. A foreigner. With no means to support herself.

I understand why she felt that the Lord’s hand had gone out against her. In my own pain, I have cried out to God, “Why do you hate me?” I have retraced my life, wondering why God had turned against me.

Naomi’s Honesty with God

But to my regret, I’ve always been very private about my pain. I have hesitated to voice my anger and fears, concerned about what others might think. Lament can be messy, and I want my life to look neat. And I foolishly think my bleached prayers somehow make God look better.

How to Gripe in the Spirit

Here's an interesting lesson that no one has ever taught me in my early days with the Lord, but one I need/want to learn now: How to Gripe in the Spirit by using the "Psalms of Lament." Did you know there is a Biblical way to complain to God? Sandra Glahn says:

As a new Christian, I read guides that told me to pray using the acrostic “ACTS”: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication. And years later when my husband and I experienced seven pregnancy losses and three failed adoptions, I found myself continually drawn to the psalms. New phrases such “How long, O Lord? (6:3) and “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (22:1) filled my prayers. And while echoing these spiritual gripes, I discovered to my surprise that the ACTS formula had left out the most common form of psalm in The Bible—the lament.

We find the psalms of lament in 6, 13, 22, 27, 44, 69, 70, 74, 102, and 142.

In these prayers of complaint I found some frequently recurring elements: (1) an introductory appeal (2) a description of what's wrong (the lament itself) and (3) a formal request. Sometimes I’d also see evidence that the psalmist received (4) an oracle from God in response. And finally, following such an oracle, the lament usually ended in (5) an expression of confidence or praise.

Four years ago I was out of work for six months through no fault of my own. I prayed a lot; usually in faith for God's provision and care. There were some times though, and two days in particular, when words extremely similar to the Psalms of Lament were just about the only kind of prayer I could do. I remember one night when I sat alone in an empty room reading some of those psalms to the Lord, crying in frustration and pain. I ultimately came out of that night with comfort and increased faith.

Glahn concludes:

Before a friend directed me to the psalms of lament, I had thought it wrong to express displeasure about my circumstances. But afterward, with new courage to express the pain I felt, I found greater respect for the Lord’s greatness, amazed that He not only allows us to talk this way to Him, but has even provided examples of how.

She's right. I've been there and have the T-shirt. I expect to be there again someday. When that happens, I know what part of the Bible to turn to.