Facing Your Pain

I needed to read this. Maybe you do too.  Ignoring Your Pain Will Only Hurt You In the Long Run by Jarrid Wilson

Pain can come packaged in many different ways. While one can encounter this burden through the loss of a loved one, another could have lost a job or even found out that they’re battling a life-threatening sickness. Regardless of how; pain is very, very real. Pain is not something we can avoid in life no matter how hard we really try. It’s a vital part of our human existence, and if treated correctly, will harvest much wisdom and knowledge.

I’ve heard the phrase “Just push through the pain” more times that I can count in my lifetime. And what seems like an encouraging an inspirational memo for those going through a tough time, any doctor will tell you that this is simply not a good idea. Why? Because ignoring the pain you have now can possibly cause further damage in the future. It’s important to fix what is broken.  Ignoring the hard parts of life will only make life more difficult.

Pushing through the pain is just as bad as ignoring it. You must acknowledge your pain in order to find healing and redemption. If you’re struggling with depression and anxiety, then maybe it’s time to fully admit that you’re struggling so that you can find help. If you’re fearful of what the future has in store for you, then maybe it’s time express that fear to a friend or loved one so they can better understand what you’re going through. If your heart is hurting and you’ve yet to open up about the pain, then maybe it’s time to drop your guard and start letting people see your brokenness. People can’t help you if they don’t know you need it.

Regardless of what you are going through in life, you must choose to look your pain in the face and make a conscious decision to fight, not flee. Pain can sometimes be a tricky subject to deal with, but it’s better to deal with it rather than never attempt at all.

There were plenty of times in my life where I ignored what I was going through because I thought I didn’t have enough time, or that my pain wasn’t that big of deal in the grand scheme of things. I couldn’t have been more wrong about my assumptions of how to deal with pain, and it was until I found myself googling painless ways to commit suicide that I realize how badly “pushing through the pain” had truly affected my life. I never one thought to reach out to people because I was afraid of what others may think. I failed to realize that we’re all broken in some way or another and that not reaching to anybody quickly put me in a corner of loneliness and despair.

The moment I found hope was a moment I’ll never forget. It was a moment where I chose to accept the reality that I was hurting and open myself to the comfort found in the truth of God and actions of those around me. I found people who related to my struggles and found themselves just as broken as I had felt. It was a rejuvenating experience to admit my pain, to really own it instead of trying to ignore. I learned throughout my life that time and time again, pushing through the pain will only make things worse.

Using Our Brokenness

Found this great piece on brokenness entitled How God Can Use Your Brokenness by Sue Birdseye at Charisma Magazine:

Broken.It's one of those words that doesn't bring a lot of joy. Who wants to be broken? 

Broken things.

           Broken bones.                            

                              Broken relationships.                                                  

                                                      Broken Vows.

                                                                      Broken homes.

                                                                                           Broken hearts.

I assume we are all on the same page and don't want that word to describe much of anything in our lives.  In fact, the only phrase with "broken" in it that I can think of ever wanting to use is "broken fever."

For a while I've tried to figure out a different word to describe my family other than "broken." Initially I thought it was just too negative. I started trying out different descriptive words: Wounded. Bruised.  Hurting. Anything but "broken."

I wanted to stand up and holler, "WE ARE NOT BROKEN!!!!" 

But you know what? I believe we are. And I'm realizing that that is OK.

We are broken but healing. God, the Great Physician, is fixing up all the broken parts.A couple of things have brought me to this conclusion. 

The first was reading this verse:

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. —2 Cor. 4:7-10

After reading that verse, I looked up the meaning of "jars of clay."  One of the definitions said that the jars of clay would have brought to mind a common household jar—probably inexpensive and fairly easy to break. It would probably have cracks and chips from being well used. 

There is so much to get from this verse, but the idea that struck me was that the brokenness of the jar of clay allows what's inside to be seen—to flow out. The brokenness of our lives allows God to shine through us. Oh my goodness, that sounds like some really syrupy sweet quote to post on Facebook. Unfortunately for all of us I can't think of a better way to say it.

I just know that when everything in my world went kaplooey, God was the only explanation for why I didn't personally go kaplooey. It was abundantly clear that the strength I had to move forward came from God and God alone—"the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us."

One of my first fears following the shattering of my marriage was that my testimony was toast. I kept thinking of all the people who would think we were just absolute frauds. I felt like a fraud. Or maybe I should say I felt like I'd been defrauded. Everyone, including me, thought we had a great marriage. How could I speak about my relationship with God, if everyone thought I hadn't been honest about my relationship with my husband?

But God showed me that my testimony wasn't about what I could or couldn't do...my testimony is what God has done and is still doing in my life.

Moving On

Already Part of New Order

"..when the Bible says you are a new creation, it means that you have already been made part of that whole new order of things. Jesus is the first of the new creation, and in him you too are a new creation (see 2 Cor. 5:17; cf. 1 Cor. 15:23). In Christ, we are transformed.  Idolators, thieves, liars, sexual perverts, addicts, abusers, and victims - all of us already get new names, new identities, and new hearts with new desires (see 1 Cor. 6:9-11). Already, he is healing our wounds, covering our shame, and freeing us from the bondage to sin and temptation."

Mike Wilkerson, Redemption: Freed by Jesus from the Idols We Worship and the Wounds We Carry, page 36