When You Feel Like Giving Up

Feeling like quitting? Tired of the race? Don't Trow in the Towel by J. Lee Grady

I have a friend who is a respected Christian leader. But like all of us, he wrestles with his own sins, weaknesses and trials. People associated with his ministry have disrespected him, his family has suffered, and he has struggled with health problems. He has also carried loads of shame since his childhood because of sexual abuse.

My friend recently admitted that he has occasionally asked God to take his life because he was so discouraged. When I prayed with him, I saw a vision of a huge arena. I could see athletes running while the crowd cheered, but my friend was sitting on a bench next to the track. Then I saw Jesus walk over to him, grab his arm and beckon him to get in the race.

My friend turned a spiritual corner after I shared this vision with him. His hope was renewed, and he decided to run the race of faith again. But there are many Christians today who have pulled out of the race because life got too tough. Some were instantly broadsided; others gradually slowed down until they quit.

The apostle Paul wrote to a group of people who were thinking of quitting the race. They were Jewish Christians who faced intense persecution. Using imagery of an athletic arena, Paul said to them: "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin that so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us" (Heb. 12:1).

Are you sitting on the bench? Or are you out of breath because you are lugging 50 pounds of shame and failure? Have you disqualified yourself from the race? Here are five of the most common reasons Christians throw in the towel:

1. Depression or discouragement. When we face stress, tragedy, disappointment, failure or prolonged delay, we will lose hope if we don't stay close to God and cling to His promises. We must remember that the darkness never lasts. "Weeping may last for the night," Psalm 30:5 says, "but a shout of joy comes in the morning."

Charles Spurgeon wrote: "There are no immortal sorrows for immortal saints. They come; but, blessed be God, they also go." No matter what obstacle you face, it will not stand in front of you indefinitely. No matter how heavy and dark the cloud is over your head, the sunshine will soon break through. Though you may not see a light at the end of the tunnel, you must keep pressing forward. You will outlast your problem.

2. Shame or self-loathing. The miracle of grace says all your past sins have been blotted out. If you have trusted in the blood of Christ, heaven has purged all record of your failures. Yet many Christians cannot forgive themselves for their weaknesses, and they imagine that God is still angry with them because they still struggle with temptation. And the devil is eager to remind us of what we once were!

Go back to the cross and give God your doubts, fears and shame. Stop punishing yourself. Trade your sinfulness for His righteousness. Jesus knows you cannot live a sinless life apart from Him—so He chose to live His perfect life through you.

3. Sinful habits. If you struggle with a life-controlling problem, you cannot overcome it alone. You must open your life to mature Christians and confess your weakness. Paul told the Hebrews: "Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble" (Heb. 12:12). Athletes don't rehabilitate themselves—they ask for help. You cannot run the race when sin has crippled you. Be transparent and let the right people pray with you.

4. Distraction. The key to winning a race is focus. Paul emphasized this when he told the Hebrews to fix their eyes on Jesus (Heb. 12:2). Our focus cannot be on a pastor, a celebrity preacher, a pet doctrine, a church, a denomination, a political party, spiritual gifts or emotions. If you put your trust in any of those things, you will not be able to finish the race. It was Jesus who started His work in you, and only He will complete it.
Regaining your focus is not difficult. Simply set aside some time to pray, and cast your cares on the Lord. Read the Psalms. Listen to praise music. Spend time in God's Word each day. Spurgeon said: "A Bible that's falling apart usually belongs to someone who isn't." If you soak your mind in Scripture, you will find unusual grace to press forward, even when all hell is raging against you.

5. Persecution. It's easy to serve God when everybody thinks you're wonderful. But how do you respond when family members and co-workers speak against you because of your faith or your moral convictions? Persecution can tempt us to deny Christ or to make moral compromises. But you must remember that when you suffer for His name's sake, you will be blessed. Peter said when we are persecuted, "the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you" (1 Pet. 4:14).

I will tell you what I told my friend last week. Jesus is calling you back in the race. Don't just sit there and let the devil win. Put one foot in front of the other, focus on Jesus and trust Him to give you the strength to run.

It's Okay

I'm sure somebody needs this today - It's Okay Not To be Okay by Jarrid Wilson:

Sometimes it’s hard to express your feelings to the people around you. Not because you’re afraid of what they’ll say, but because our culture doesn’t seem to be very keen on being honest about their pains. The reality is that way too many people are putting on a facade of perfection in order to keep people from knowing how they are truly hurting. It’s as if everyone feels like showing pain is a sign of weakness. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. It’s okay to admit that you’re hurting, broken or even confused about your current spot in life. It’s okay…Remember, even Jesus himself wept.

1. IT’S OKAY TO CRY.

There is nothing wrong with crying and letting out a few tears. Who ever said crying is for babies was a liar, and definitely not ever watched The Notebook. The reality is that even Jesus himself wept and crying can sometimes be the relief you need to move on and regroup. Showing emotion is good for the soul, and crying has been known to help regulate depression, anxiety and even stress.

2. IT’S OKAY TO GET FRUSTRATED.

No one has the answers to everything, and even the smartest of people in the world find themselves frustrated sometimes. It’s ok to not know the answer, solution, or reason for things that have taken place. The light at the end of the tunnel is knowing that God has everything under control, even when we ourselves do not. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s wrong to get frustrated. Sometimes frustration is the breeding ground of change.

3. IT’S OKAY TO GET STRESSED.

Let’s face it, stress is unavoidable. I’m not saying it’s going to consume your entire life, but stress is one of those things that all of us will eventually encounter in one way or another. When you come into areas of your life that are considered stressful, realize that it’s only going to last as long as you allow it to. Stress is unavoidable, but allowing it to control your life is not. It’s ok to be stressed sometimes, just don’t let stress become who you are.

4. IT’S OKAY TO NOT UNDERSTAND.

Not everything is going to have an answer, but that’s where the beauty of faith comes in. There are circumstances and events in your life that you aren’t going to understand, but you have to realize that it’s ok to not know all the answers. There is humility in saying “I don’t know.” And frankly, sometimes admitting that you don’t know is the first step in finding peace and comfort in your situation. Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s wrong to admit you don’t understand.

It’s okay to not be okay. Job, Elijah, Jonah and Abraham were all men throughout the Bible who dealt with incredible hard times, but God continued to see them through their pain. It was ok for them to not be ok. Why? Because they were human, and God created us to feel all kinds of emotions.

For the Brokenhearted

A word of encouragement for the brokenhearted - From William Bridge, A Lifting Up For The Downcast, As quoted by Ray Ortlund via Peter Cockrell

The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty. Exodus 34:6-7

“Well, you say, but though God is able to help me, I fear that God is not willing to help me, and therefore I am discouraged. But be of good comfort, says the Lord, for my name is Merciful, and therefore I am willing to help you.

But you say, though the Lord is willing to help me, yet I am a poor unworthy creature and have nothing at all to move God to help me. Yet be of good comfort, for the Lord says again, My name is Gracious. I do not show mercy because you are good, but because I am good.

Oh, you say, but I have been sinning a long time, ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years. If I had come to you long ago, I might have had mercy. But I have been sinning a long time, and therefore I fear there is no mercy for me. Yet, says the Lord, be of good comfort, for my name is Slow to anger.

Oh, you say, but I have sinned extremely, so many sins that I am never able to reckon up and to humble myself for them, I have broken all my promises to God and all the vows I made to him, and therefore I am discouraged. Yet, says he, be of good comfort, for I am abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. Are you abundant in sin? I am abundant in steadfast love. Have you broken faith with me? Yet I am abundant in faithfulness also.

Oh, but though the Lord is all this to his chosen ones like David, Abraham and Moses, yet I fear the Lord will not be this to me. Yes, says the Lord, keeping steadfast love for thousands. I have not spent all my mercy on David or on Abraham or on Paul or on Peter, but I keep mercy for thousands.

Oh, but my sins still recoil on me. I am the greatest sinner in the world, for I have sinned all kinds of sin. I fear there is no hope for me. Yet, says the Lord, be not discouraged, for I forgive iniquity and transgression and sin, even all kinds of sin. This is my name forever.
Oh, but I am afraid to lay hold on this promise, for I think this is a doctrine of license. Do not say that, says the Lord, who will by no means clear the guilty. But if there is ever a poor, drooping, fearing, trembling soul that desires to know my name, here, says the Lord, is my name by which I will be known forever.

The name of God quiets the heart against all discouragements.”

William Bridge, A Lifting Up For The Downcast (London, 1961), pages 270-272. Slightly edited.

No Discouragement Allowed?

"My soul is cast down within me" - Psalm 42:6. Discouragement - Hey, is that allowed for Christians? 

Sound words from Sinclair Fergusan at Ligonier Ministries:

From time to time over the centuries some Christians have taught, sometimes with tragic consequences, that a truly spiritual person never gets discouraged. To be cast down is, by definition, to be 'unspiritual.' Unless we are well-grounded in Scripture, it is very easy for us to be overwhelmed, confused, and even more discouraged by such teaching.

This teaching certainly seems logical: if the gospel saves us, it must save us from discouragement! It also appears to be wonderfully spiritual. After all, are we not 'more than conquerors through him who loved us' (Rom. 8:37)?

But this is not biblical logic, nor is it true spirituality. The gospel saves us from death, not by removing death, but by helping us to face it in the power of Christ's victory and thus to overcome it. So, too, with sin. And similarly with discouragement. Faith in Christ does not remove all of the causes of discouragement; rather, it enables us to overcome them. We may experience discouragement; but we will not be defeated by it.

Faith in Christ does not remove all of the causes of discouragement; rather, it enables us to overcome them.

Nor is this the biblical spirituality; it is a false 'super-spirituality' that ignores or denies the reality of our humanity. We live in frail flesh and blood and in a fallen world which, John says, 'lies in the power of the evil one' (1 John 5:19). There is much to discourage. Jesus felt that. To be free from the possibility of discouragements would be more 'spiritual' than Jesus—and therefore not truly spiritual at all.

Psalms 42 and 43 teach us the biblical approach to discouragement: we feel it, we recognize it for what it is, and we analyze the reasons for its presence.

Jesus is Greater....

"Jesus is greater": This should be a complete sentence all by itself. However, I love how those three simple words are continued in this little piece by Justin Buzzard:

Jesus >

Jesus is greater.

JESUS > Sin + Fear + Guilt + Regret + Discouragement + Need + Pain + Shame + Failure

Jesus is greater than sin, he took on, paid for, and beat your sin.

Jesus is greater than fear, he is bigger than whatever makes you afraid.

Jesus is greater than guilt, he has made a complete atonement for our guilt.

Jesus is greater than regret, he redeems our broken past.

Jesus is greater than discouragement, he is never discouraged even though he knows the worst about you, your circumstances, and life in this broken world.

Jesus is greater than need, he knows all of your needs and your needs are not difficult for him.

Jesus is greater than pain, he knows your pain and is stronger than what is hurting you.

Jesus is greater than shame, he cleanses dirty people, making us whiter than snow.

Jesus is greater than failure, he loves to work with failure–it’s his specialty.

JESUS > Sin + Fear + Guilt + Regret + Discouragement + Need + Pain + Shame + Failure

Hat Tip: Peter Cockrell

"Christians Get Depressed Too"

From a review by Tim Challies of the book by David Murray - Christians Get Depressed Too:

The message at the heart of David Murray’s little book about depression is all in the title—Christians Get Depressed Too. This message is remarkably liberating. Immediately it clears away so many of the dangerous and unhelpful misconceptions. We wouldn’t want this to give license to wallow in depression, but we would want it to allow us to see and believe and understand that for many people depression is to the fallen mind what illness is to the fallen body....

....I believe this book’s greatest strength is its liberating message that depression does not need to be a source of shame and that it should not carry a taboo that causes those who suffer from it to hide away in shame. At the same time, it should not cause other people to respond with shock or scolding or judgment. Murray does a good job of aligning depression—mental or emotion suffering—with the physical suffering we all encounter in life. Though it may be caused by sin or aggravated by sin, we must not allow ourselves to assume that this is always the case.

Another strength is the book’s measured, pastoral tone. Too much writing on this subject falls prey to broad strokes and sweeping judgments. Murray makes it clear that he is no stranger to depression; he has faced it in his ministry and “among friends and some of those I love most in this world.” This leads him to speak carefully, to speak sensitively, and to use nuance where nuance is warranted. The person who is dealing with depression, with anxiety or with panic attacks will find sympathy and hope in the words of this book and in the gospel message it depends upon.

The Dark Night of the Soul

Below is an excerpt from a good article by R.C. Sproul on The Dark Night of the Soul:

"The dark night of the soul. This phenomenon describes a malady that the greatest of Christians have suffered from time to time. It was the malady that provoked David to soak his pillow with tears. It was the malady that earned for Jeremiah the sobriquet, "The Weeping Prophet." It was the malady that so afflicted Martin Luther that his melancholy threatened to destroy him. This is no ordinary fit of depression, but it is a depression that is linked to a crisis of faith, a crisis that comes when one senses the absence of God or gives rise to a feeling of abandonment by Him.

Spiritual depression is real and can be acute. We ask how a person of faith could experience such spiritual lows, but whatever provokes it does not take away from its reality. Our faith is not a constant action. It is mobile. It vacillates. We move from faith to faith, and in between we may have periods of doubt when we cry, "Lord, I believe, help Thou my unbelief."

After discussing several Scripture passges about discouragement and despair, Sproul concludes:

"This coexistence of faith and spiritual depression is paralleled in other biblical statements of emotive conditions. We are told that it is perfectly legitimate for believers to suffer grief. Our Lord Himself was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. Though grief may reach to the roots of our souls, it must not result in bitterness. Grief is a legitimate emotion, at times even a virtue, but there must be no place in the soul for bitterness. In like manner, we see that it is a good thing to go to the house of mourning, but even in mourning, that low feeling must not give way to hatred. The presence of faith gives no guarantee of the absence of spiritual depression; however, the dark night of the soul always gives way to the brightness of the noonday light of the presence of God."

I've been through some times like this; I can remember exact dates when they began and ended. I've watched my wife go through it also and suffered with her. Christians in general, and Charismatic Christians in particular, don't seem to know how to handle these experiences or how to help and support those going through them. It does not always just go away with a quick prayer and an encouragement to "look on the bright side" or "rejoice in the Lord, Brother!" You can't always command it away. Sometimes we just suffer, sometimes for long periods of time. I do know this: the Lord Jesus suffers with us in these times.

May the Lord be with any of my readers who are going through one of these times right now. Weeping may endure for the night, but joy will come in the morning.