Stupid Things We Say to Singles

Left over from Valentine’s Day, I’m posting Justin Holcomb's list of some the stupid things said to or by single Christians.

• There’s sin in your life that God wants you to work through first. Once you work it out, he’ll bring you a spouse. 

• You should probably need to lower your standards. You’re only interested in men/women who are above your level. You need to be more realistic about who you are and what kind of guy/woman you can expect to be interested in you. 

• You aren’t confident enough. If you liked you, guys/women would like you, too. 

• Guys are intimidated by you. The more you accomplish, the less guys will want to ask you out. 

• Why are you still single? Don’t you go to a huge church with lots of singles? 

• Just stop thinking about it, then it will happen. 

• God probably has you single for you to learn something. What is He trying to teach you? 

• Maybe there’s sin that you need to deal with and He’s preventing you from inviting someone else into your sin. 

• When you’re fully content in Him, then He will bring you a spouse. 

• Maybe you’re not praying enough for a spouse. 

• Put yourself out there. 

• If you just lost 20 pounds a guy would be able to see how wonderful you truly are. 

• God is trying to teach you something in this season. Once you learn it, he’ll bring you a spouse. 

• Don’t worry, I’m sure you’re next! 

• I have a friend who was 35 when she got married, there’s still hope for you too. 

For My Single Guy Friends: Some Christian Pickup Lines

For the consideration (and laughter) of my single male readers - some Christian pick-up lines::

• "“I didn’t believe in predestination until tonight.”
• “I believe one of my ribs belongs to you.”
• “Hey.. i would work 7 years for your sister.. but I would work 7 more years for you.”
• “Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead”
• “You put the ‘cute’ back in persecution…”
• “Feel free to meet me at the threshing floor.”
• “You’re totally depraved but I’d still like to go out with you…”
• “I’m interested in full time ministry, and not only that… I also play the guitar.”
• “Look, you’re nearly 22. Most Christians are 3 years into marriage by now… just settle for me.”
• “Have you died before? Because that looks like a resurrection body to me..”
• “I would have asked you out to dinner, but I just put all my money in the offering basket.”
• “Hi, I’m Calvin. You were meant to choose me.”
• “All I’m looking for is a Godly woman. I don’t care that you’re not attractive.” (That will go down well for sure)
• “Can I buy you a non-alcoholic beverage?”
• “My favorite species of vegetation is the church plant.”
• “I have many sponsor children. one in each developing nation.”
• “Who’s your favorite apostle?”
• “The word says ‘Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry’; how about dinner?”
• “I have familiarized myself with all 5 love languages, in fact, I invented 4 of them.”
• [check the person's shirt tag] “Just as i thought… made in heaven.”
• “For you I would slay two Goliaths”"

 From: Christian Pickup Lines Reprise « Thinking Out Loud: